Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
