It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
