I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
