I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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