I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
