I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
