You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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