do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
