Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
