So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
