Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
