god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i think i just lost a toe
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
