Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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