I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
