Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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