remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
