butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
