What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
