Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
