you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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