there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
