Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
