Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
