but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
