so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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