So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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