We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
