All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize