The best revenge is premature balding
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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