Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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