I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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