it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You smell like stripper and shame
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
