We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
