Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
