Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
