Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize