After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
