yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
