I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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