these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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