wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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