The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
