Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
