Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
