Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize