Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
