the day after is always just damage control
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
