i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize