It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
