He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
