I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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