I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
