I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
