I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
