I wish I could punch you in the face.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
