just tell him i said nine months
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
