you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize