Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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