You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
