I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
