Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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