He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
