Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
